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Can FDW be part of the family?In days gone by, a domestic worker might have been part of the family. She was probably from a big family which her father, perhaps a farmer trying hard to make ends meet, found it ever harder to furnish his children with the basic necessities.One way to solve the problem was for him to send one daughter or two to go and live with his more affluent brother or sister or some other relative, in the city. Often this serves a double purpose. Not only will his daughter be earning her keep, his brother, her uncle, would more likely than not pay for her schooling. In her uncle's house, the young lady in question, let's call her Maria, would truly be a member of the family. If her parents briefed her well, she would know that she was less privileged than her cousins. And she would, without being told, relieve her aunt of many a household chore: take care of her younger cousins, wash and iron, etc. And she would be literally a member of the family. On Christmas day she would probably get a present, too, like her cousins. But if Maria crosses the sea to another country to live and work among strangers, can she expect to be treated like a member of the family? Yes, some employers actually say they treat their domestic helpers as members of the family. To some extent, they are justified to say so. But Maria should know that she is really not a member of the family and should not expect any privilege due to one. Unlike "working" for an uncle, there is no bond of kinship here. And she is getting a salary, so the relationship is more a commercial relationship, like one between a buyer and seller. The employer is the buyer of Maria's labour. This is not to say that the employer is not sincere if he says he is treating Maria like a member of the family. This becomes more obvious if we look at how another young woman may be treated elsewhere. Meanwhile, I have elsewhere mentioned that the Ministry of Manpower refers to a domestic worker from another country as a foreign domestic worker only relatively lately. When women from the neighbouring countries first came to work in Singapore, they were referred to as foreign domestic servants. What's in a name, one might ask? The answer is "plenty". We are psychologically influenced by words and we tend to treat people according to how we refer to them. If we call our domestic helper "servant," we will tend to treat her as a servant; and if we call her domestic worker, we will tend to treat her with more respect. Let me narrate one incident I witnessed not so long ago. I was in Johore on my way to Batu Pahat when I stopped at a durian stall. There I saw a family helping themselves to what must have been some delicious durians. Their companion, who looked to me like a young foreign woman and probably their domestic "servant" just looked at them having their fun from some distance away. They were gobbling down their first class D24 durians and all that she was allowed was the smell of the durians. It was clear she was not treated like a member of the family.
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