On-the-Job-Training Planning to Retire? Pro-Employer, Pro-FDW Do barking dogs bite? Is your job recession-proof? Importance of Job Reference Shopping for a Good Agency FDW Entrepreneurs After Singapore, what then? Really Single? Stress kills, not work Sacrificing or Sacrificed Overcoming Adversity Make money, lose money strip search One Dollar FDW of the Decade Power - FDW has it, too Help! False prophets Psycho Abuse Suffering in Silence Ads can deceive Standard Contracts Health or Job? Listen with ur eyes How to score at job interview Neither a borrower ..... Part of Family? Why say no when one means yes No trust, no stay Relationship Is the customer always right? Thrifty is not a dirty word Culture Gap Single or Married? Dear FDW Home |
Red or yellow, black or whiteI would like to thank Ms Juliana Tingson for her observation which was summarised in the April 08 issue of the Pinoy Star, under the heading "We are all God's creatures, no matter what".I have tried in all my articles to be helpful to domestic helpers from another country because they tend to be at a disadvantage when a dispute arises with their employer. If I seem to be pro-employer (and presumably therefore anti-domestic helper), it is not because I do not believe that "We are all God's creatures." It is because I am trying to convince the typical domestic helper that it is in her best interest to be patient with the shortcomings of her employer. I do not advise an FDW to suffer in silence, but to avoid a confrontation in which she risks ending up the loser. Before my recruits report for work, I do explain to them in my pre-deployment orientation session (PDOS) that occasionally an employer may have had a bad day at work and, when she geta home, take it out on the only person in the house who does not fight back - or hardly ever does. You guessed it, this person who seldom fights back is the domestic helper. Yes, I do understand the predicament the abused or unappreciated domestic helper is in and if I am asked for advice, I would say one's mental health is of primary importance and seeking a change may be unavoidable in such a circumstance. I do not advise anyone to accept abuse uncomplainingly. When I address the FDW I am being pragmatic. Often I pose this question: "What is the use of winning an argument if one loses a friend?" Or, "What is the use of proving that your employer is wrong and you are right if, by doing so you embarass her and she decides to let you go?" As I have written before in the June 2006 issue of Pinoy Star entitled "Work Smart, Ladies", a smart restaurant owner of manager will pretend that the customer is always right. His motive is to make money, proving his customer wrong is not. By the same logic, to a domestic worker, any worker, retaining the job is more important than being right. And just as the restauranteur would rather lose a troublesome customer, so may a domestic worker seek a change if her employer constantly harasses her or in other ways make her position so stressful. |