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Dear TooPatient,
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Actually, you have been remarkably patient with Merri. The incidents you
mention show not so much a breach of the employment contract as her
inaptitude. Remember, your relationship with your domestic helper is
special. Because you see each other everyday and live in close promiximity
to each other, in the same house, such behaviour as you describe is
unacceptable and that is enough reason for letting her go.
She is unwilling to acknowledge that she has made a mistake. If she had come straight from the boondocks, she might be excused for thinking that all apparel goes into a washing machine. But if she has taken your husband's business suits to the dry cleaners, she ought to know better. Was she sleepwalking when she put the suits in the washing machine? Her choice of language does show her complete lack of respect for her employers. Even though we live in a democratic age and a classless society, subordinates are still expected to behave with some decorum when in the company of superiors. Employees (including employers of domestic helpers) in a firm do not normally use indelicate language in the presence of their supervisor, more so if they are Asians, as Merri is. It sounds shocking to hear one's domestic helper refer to someone as a "bloody" anything. An employer can rightly expect a nanny to treat her children gently and warmly, if not not lovingly, although some nannies do treat their charges so. It is bad enough if she is not warm and protective over your children, but to actually kick or smack them is shocking and unforgiveable. Even if there is no lasting injury, it shows a total lack of feeling for the children. This makes her unsuitable as a nanny. A subordinate, in a different environment, in a commercial setting, who values the good opinion of his supervisor will not be quarrelsome in the latter's presence. Being rude to third parties in your presence or with your knowledge, shows a lack of respect to which an employer is entitled. Not going straight home with perishables, fish and meat, shows not only that she is irresponsible, but also lacking in loyalty. For a loyal employee will not behave in a way that will cause her employer to lose money, for having to discard newly purchased food items. Merri obviously does not know that whoever pays the fiddler calls the tune and that is why she so wantonly ignores your request, no, your instructions, not to enter your study. Ultimately, if you feel you are not getting what you are paying for, you do not need to justify terminating the relationship, just as you do not hesitate to switch supermarkets if one does not give you value for money.
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