I don't deserve a maid like this one.

My former maid Ma Lhudie should like, Vivi Anna, be in great demand. She and Vivi Anna, or just Anna, belong to the same dialect group, from the northern part of the main island Luzon. My agent is convinced that members of this dialect group are generally hardworking and tough. So at least Ma Lhudie, being from that group, starts off with some inherent advantage. Furthermore, she is an educated woman, highly motivated, or should be; and she had good experience acquired in her home country before coming to Singapore.

Ma Lhudie is a university graduate, with a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education. She had taught elementary school for 6 months, nothing remarkable about this, except that where she comes from, there are usually a lot more candidates than positions available. She had also taught two years in a childcare centre because, well, half a loaf is better than no bread. Ma Lhudie's husband (although I did not know that she was married when I hired her) is also a teacher, suggesting that she and he are both probably a little more genteel (in the best sense of the word) than a lot of women who come to work in Singapore. And she should be highly motivated - being unable to get a good job at home and having to provide for four children. (She had claimed that she was single and had no children.)

I have been warned by my fellow expats to avoid hiring those who have stayed on too long in Singapore, even if they have the potential to be ideal maids (who not only clean, but also cook, wash and iron and also take care of the young ones) like Anna. It seems that after some time they become street smart and so adept at manipulating us new arrivals from the west. Also, I have been advised not to hire one who had previously worked for another expat because the latter tends to spoil her maid and give her a lot of freedom which often leads her into trouble. It sounds harsh to put it this way, but giving freedom to those who lack self-discipline is just like giving them a long rope.

So I hired Ma Lhudie who had worked barely two years here in Singapore. She had been used to what westerners might consider overly strict control of her local employer. Don't we all know that when working for locals, foreign maids have to be home by seven (sometimes five) and are given days off only twice (sometimes once) a month! And they are required not only to take care of perhaps as many as three children but also to cook and clean, wash and iron the clothes and even wash the car at 6 in the morning. And sometimes they have to attend to an elderly person in poor health, too. So Ma Ludhie seemed like an ideal maid and I hired without hesitation - after interviewing 5 others. How wrong could I be?

I was not "strict" with her and have given her no cause to be unhappy to work for us. I was always quite considerate of her feelings, being careful not to talk down to her as her previous employer did, but to treat her as I would like my boss to treat me. I paid her more than she got in her previous position. She did not have to wash my car and when I was home from work, I did the cooking as often as she did. My family comprises three, myself, my husband and my three-year old daughter. Her previous employer had three children. So I expected that Ma Lhudie would be grateful to have a job like this.

But after 6 months I had to send her packing, not to her country but to my agent in the hope that the latter could help her see the error of her ways and give her a fresh start with another family, being careful to consider her strengths and witnesses. I realise that if she cannot make it with me, it does not mean she will not succeed with another family.

I was really pleased with her during the first three months. She was quite good in performing her duties. She kept the place neat and tidy. She always got my food ready on time. Her ironing was certainly up to par. And she was really fond of my three-year old daughter Elaine. Eliane likes to play in the common playground or even the public park close by and meet other children in the neighbourhood and Ma Lhudie would always oblige her. And she spoke fluent English.

But I began to have doubts. On one occasion, I called home to remind her to take some meat out of the freezer, so that by the time I got home it would have thawed sufficiently to cook. As it turned out, Ma Lhudie had taken Elaine out for a stroll. And as it turned out, my husband had not left the house. So he went to look for her in the playground and not, finding her there, went to look for her in the public park nearby. Ma Lhudie and Elaine were nowhere in sight.

Later Ma Lhudie explained that she had gone to visit with one of the maids in the same condominium. Which one she would not say. Her "friend" would kill her because if I should complain to her boss, she would lose her job. So I let the matter rest. When I had some private moments with my daughter I quizzed her but though she does not normally keep any secrets from me, this time she seemed to be rather coy. I did not want to upset her, so I said no more.

On another occasion, when I had to go to Elaine's play group I had occasion to exchange greeting with the teacher and I casually asked how things were. The teacher volunteered that Ma Lhudie was not good for my daughter, that she was spending too much time on her mobile, paying scant attention to my Elaine, for whose sake I employed her. But she explained to my satisfaction: air time costs plenty and she merely used her mobile for short messages. On her salary, she had to be careful, especially since her husband's income was not enough to support their 4 children. You cannot quarrel with such logic.

I should have fired her when I found out that this supposed spinster was actually a married woman with 4 children, but she had a perfectly good explanation, or so my husband conceded. (Not that I had anything against a married woman working as a maid, but what can come out of this relationship if it starts off with a lie!) Furthermore, it would have been extremely mean to fire her and deprive her 4 children of much needed financial support. So I decided to forget the whole matter. I think her soulful eyes had a part to play in my feeling of guilt about firing her. If at this point someone should suggest to me that I did not owe Ma Lhudie a living, I would probably think he was mean. In retrospect, he would have been right.

Ma Lhudie's disappearing act was getting more frequent and my husband, always more suspecting and more perceptive than I, thought that perhaps Ma Lhudie was involved with a local Romeo. He had picked up the phone on a couple of occasions and the caller declined to state his business, saying merely "Wrong number". One does not misdial several days in a row!

I had an uncomfortable feeling but Ma Lhudie always had a good explanation. Was I being paranoid? Somehow, I always felt guilty when I thought of firing her. Ma Lhudie always spoke so earnestly, so sensibly, so convincingly. But I could not deny my own feelings, my nagging suspicion that all was not well. It so happened that while we began to doubt Ma Lhudie, a long weekend came up and gave us the opportunity to get away from it all, to reflect and relax. We went to Bintan, in the Rhio Islands, part of Indonesia, one hour south of Singapore by ferry. We had a great time. There was no pressure from work and the food was excellent.

I think my daughter and I drew closer during that short time in Tanjung Pinang. Elaine became her old self again, telling me everything about her play group, about the strolls in the condo playground, about "Uncle Solimon". My husband instinctly identified Uncle Solimon as that same person who had called several times and each time declared it was a wrong number.

My husband and I conjured up scenes of debauchery, of orgies in our apartment during our absence. Perhaps Ma Lhudie was entertaining Solimon in our apartment even as we thought about it. The very thought churned up stomach. So we could not wait a second longer but promptly packed up and checked out. When we arrived home in the early afternoon, we were relieved. There was no orgy. But there was no Ma Lhudie to be seen either.

We knew then that the 99% trust we implicitly put in Ma Lhudie would never turn to 100% and we could not have someone living in our house if she was not 100% trustworthy. So I arranged for my agent to help her. I did not tell him my doubts for it is not in my nature to accuse without proof. I told him that Ma Lhudie was not at home when we arrived. That was all.

My agent agreed that that was ground enough to dismiss Ma Lhudie and agreed to accomodate her for a few days and see if he could help Ma Lhudie. If she came clean, there was hope yet, but if she contradicted my accounts, he would observe her more closely. Three days later he reported back. He and I agreed that Ma Lhudie's presence would benefit no one, to put it kindly.

I decided then to send her home. I could not with a clear conscience give her a good reference to enable her to get another job here and thereafter make a nuisance of herself. My agent assured me that Ma Lhudie did not have a copy of the reference I had given her earlier. I told him not to give her a copy. No one can accuse me of giving an inept maid an undeserved reference.

Disappointed